Looking up your hometown on Urban Dictionary could send you into fits of laughter. Alternatively, it might lead you to stare at your screen in disbelieving horror at the filth spoken about your flower-studded streets.
Founded in 1999, Urban Dictionary publishes unconventional definitions for words and phrases, not to be found in your ordinary Oxford Dictionary. The motto for the online dictionary is ‘define your world’.
As our world is Hertfordshire, we’ll take a look at what people are saying about the towns in this area. Do you agree with the definitions below? Let us know in the comments below!
Read more: The 'haunted' castle remains on the Herts border you can visit
Hertford
Apparently, Hertford’s tranquillity has nothing to do with opportunities for walks on the common – it’s because its residents are in a drunken daze according to one person. The definition says: "A peaceful town in the UK, despite having a drinking problem."
The town's people definitely don't have a drinking problem. What an absurd thing to claim.
Watford
If you want an evening of drinking, it seems you can head straight from Hertford to Watford. One example phrase from the Urban Dictionary for Watford is: "I am going to Watford tonight to get very drunk and try to chat up some females."
Although, if you fancy anything more interesting than chatting up the ‘females’, you might be hard-pressed to find it. Another definition calls Watford, "one of the worst places to go on a night out" and likens it to, "Birmingham quality for London prices".
Letchworth
Unsurprisingly, Letchworth.is.cool gave a glowing review of Letchworth, before throwing shade on other regions of Hertfordshire: "A cool town that beats Stevenage, Hitchin, Welwyn, Bedford, you name it. It is an amazing town filled with great people and no violence like *cough cough* Stevenage. But other people can’t wait to get out of the place."
Not won over by the fact that the UK’s first-ever roundabout is situated in the Letchworth, one person gave the example phrase: "Wow, look at that really old roundabout in Letchworth."
"Yeah, interesting isn't it Shall we get the f**k out of here now?"
"Yes, let's."
Hemel Hempstead
Another site of controversy is Hemel Hempstead. One definition describes it as, "possibly the greatest town in existence" which is "home of the beautiful architectural masterpiece known as the Kodak Tower". It also provides an example phrase: "Outsider: 'I hate Hemel because I’m from *insert town devoid of all human intelligence*. Deep down I wish I could live there, but even if I did I know I’d never be worthy."
So, perhaps the person who describes it as "a s****y town full of sh***y people who all manage to believe they rule the place" is delusional, and actually wishes they lived in Hemel.
Bishop's Stortford
Bishop's Stortford has unfairly been labelled a "sh*****e" in two definitions on the Urban Dictionary. We'd argue this is definitely not the case, and we're very proud of Bishop's Stortford.
One of these definitions goes on to describe: "A market town that in recent years has become infested with chavs and roadmen and wannabe gangstas."
Cheshunt
It seems Cheshunt has an even more diverse population than Bishop’s Stortford’s "chavs and roadmen and wannabe gangstas", according to one entry. One definition depicts "a place full of chavs and sl*gs and bears".
Not everyone agrees with this wild description, however. One person says: "Cheshunt is a beautiful, quiet and peaceful area where everyone knows each other and respects each other! It is such an elegant area where Queen’s English is spoken." That's more like it.
Berkhamsted
Apparently, Berkhamsted is a town with two halves - "thieving crack heads are commonplace in this town, as much as the middle class newly-weds try to ignore them".
This definition also points to residents’ contrasting characters: "Upper classes know not to venture to Tesco Metro on Friday nights, due to the thieving youths hanging around the outside of the supermarket." They even gave an example conversation to demonstrate this point:
“Darling, we've run out of poached salmon, and Marks and Sparks is shut. Shall we go to Tescos?"
“Don't be ridiculous, you know what Berkhamsted is like on a Friday night. We'd be skinned alive!”
We'd actually argue Berkhamsted is one of the nicest areas of Hertfordshire and this certainly isn't the case.
Stevenage
The only definition of Stevenage conjures up Breaking Bad’s Jessie Pinkman and his drug-dealing mates: "This is where you live if you think you are hard. The boys are wannabe potheads and drug lords but really they wouldn’t survive anywhere outside of Stevenage because they are all skinny b*****ds."
Hatfield
Coming from Hatfield, on the other hand, appears to be something to aspire to: "Any Hatfield is all-around awesome. A Hatfield will blow you away." They also added an example conversation on how to use 'Hatfield' in a sentence:
Person 1: "Damn, here comes a Hatfield!" Person 2: "Wow, I wish I was born a Hatfield."
We aren't 100 per cent convinced they're talking about Hatfield here in Hertfordshire. Another hilarious definition of Hatfield on the Urban Dictionary reads: "To perform a scene in the nude, regardless of whether the script calls for it or not."
Hitchin
The one definition listed for Hitchin is oddly heart-warming, as if the town resembles the annoying little brother you love to hate: "A town in England that’s kinda a hole but it’s alright."
Hmm, we'll take it... We think...
Harpenden
Two accounts describe Harpenden as the ‘most amazing place’, but these are countered passionately by another: "Uber-snobby, white middle-class ghetto, which geographically lies between Luton & St. Albans. Their houses are full of ';Harpenden Chic' tat, which they will have paid over the odds to acquire. Harpenden shops are mainly independent and full of over-priced, tasteless wares, which local Harpies aspire to buy from."
The example phrase they included said: "Must go to, ‘Harpenden Village!’. I have a vast surplus of disposable income to lose. I do object to having to pay to park, though!"
Hoddesdon
Wikipedia will inform you of the array of shops, the gym and the leisure centre in Hoddesdon, but these don’t make their way into Urban Dictionary. Instead, the one definition listed describes: "A grey and dull town where you have to walk 30 minutes from the town centre with nothing to do in it, to get to the train station so that you can leave. Good luck getting there, though, because all the roadmen will ride their mopeds or bikes along the road, going head-on into traffic."
Broxbourne
After the above definition, you’d be forgiven for thinking Hoddesdon meets the criteria for ‘deadest and emptiest town in Hertfordshire’, but this is actually the accolade given to Broxbourne by one person. They also provide this example phrase:
Guy 1: "Ahh man ma girl moved to Broxbourne."
Guy 2: "Broxbourne … where the heck is that??"
Guy 1: "I wish I knew."
St Albans
The informative definition included for St Albans would be more at home in the Oxford Dictionary, but at least the example phrase is more suited to the site: "A city ten miles outside North London, England, where all the other St. Albans got their name from due to English colonisation on other continents."
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